Good Evening.  Happy Sabbath,

It has been an eventful week.  I went to my parents house again for a few days, so that they could help me again with the kids while Sharmi was on steroids.  Monday night was a very bad night.  Sharmi barely slept.  I think it was probably her worst night of sleep ever, excluding hospital stays. She fell asleep fairly easily but then when I was nursing sister to sleep an hour later she was clearly awake .  It was weird because she didn’t sit up and talk with us, but she held sisters hand, rolled over and hugged her and just tossed and turned. I dozed off and was woken up by her scratching.  She scratched and scratched for hours.  She was quiet most of the time with eyes shut but she scratched and scratched, toes, legs, arms, back, head….  A lot of times I couldn’t even count a full second between scratching.  I gave her some Tylenol with codeine, but it didn’t seem to help.  The other strange thing was that she kept wanting me to change her diaper.  I changed it four times.  She would ask, “mommy my diaper is soggy, will you change it.” The next day we noticed that she had a few little tiny bumps on her that she said hurt.  We put some lotion on them, and she hasn’t complained much since.  

The bad news is that Chantel seems to have it even worse.  It wasn’t until Tuesday morning that we realized that she was having troubles also.  She had been rubbing her eyes the night before but we just thought she was tired.  However, Tuesday morning she was digging at her eyes so much that she was cutting her eye lids with her finger nails.  Her face the was primary place that showed rash and redness and I have been putting vitamin E lotion on it and I thought it was getting better.  But, tonight she has bumps and rash patches all over her back and stomach with a few on her head and legs.  The poor girl is just miserable.  She doesn’t scratch at anything other than her eyes, but I am wondering if it is just because she doesn’t know how.   Please pray that she will feel better soon.  (As I have been sitting here typing, I have been itching like crazy.  I hope it is just psychological.) 

Other than Chantels itching she is doing well.  She is growing like a weed.  I weighted her last week and she was 20 pounds.  It is a good thing that they start little so that we can build up our muscles.  It cracks me up when men are holding her and complain that their back aches and are not able to carry her anymore.  I want to say, “try adding another 30 pounds on the other hip and haul that around all day.”

We finally squeezed in some fun stuff.  Last week with the help of grandma and grandpa we made molds and statues of Chantels hands and feet.  She has grown so much already that I wanted to capture a little bit of memories before she outgrew me. We put her in one of my dads old t-shirts.  It was soo cute.  Sharmi woke up about half way through the process and she was very concerned that I was hurting her sister.  

Chantel is also getting pretty good at sitting.  I am hoping she can sit by the time we go to the Bahama’s.  She will be able to enjoy watching and being a part of activities more if she can sit, not to mention she is going to start on food soon.  She is ready.  She is always grabbing at my plate, and I have spilt my water on myself more than once because she grabs at it.  Last week I did let her drink out of my glass. She loved it!     

Tonight Sharmi was complaining about taking her meds.  She is really sick of it and trys to run away sometimes.  I think it is mostly a game and trying to be in control.  When she knows it is coming she says, “I am going to run away.”  However when she does actually take it, she takes them like a champ.  We don’t grind them anymore.  We just set the pill on a spoon of yogurt or salad dressing and down they go.  I saw Dean give her four pills at once last week.  I couldn’t believe it.  She swallowed them just fine.  Her taste buds are so warped now, by all the meds, that she will even chew them sometimes.  We have to remind her to just swallow them.  Tonight we told her again that we were so sorry that she had to take them and that someday it would be all over.  I told her it would still be a long time.  It would be when she is four.  She responded, “Then Jesus will tell me no more medicine. No more tears.” That hit may heart so heavy.  I hope so deeply that it will be true.  I am ready to watch him wipe the tears from her eyes.  ……………….. and I am ready for him to heal my broken heart.

Hello Everyone,

It is so fun having a two year old!  Sharmi informed me last Tuesday on our way to the park that we needed to remember to take her little brother.  Apparently, I bought him at the store for her the other day.  We played for quite some time at the park and we included her brother in everything, “mommy, pick up brother, he fell down… mommy help brother, that is a big step… hold brother he is tired… help brother get up on the whale… on the bars… mommy you dropped brother…”  Apparently I am not a very good mother.  I didn’t even know I had a son and when I learn that I did I left him at several places in the park and I also dropped him several times.   On the way back from the park she somehow got a second brother.  For your future x-mas cards their names are “D” and “A”.    Tuesday was a good day!

Yesterday was not quite so fun.  We took Sharmi to the hospital again for her standard appointment.  Her labs were good at 1800 something, she got more chemo in  her port and we started her on another series of steroids.  Which, may explain why, at this moment, she is winning and opening and shutting her door for no apparent reason, other than she woke up from her nap grumpy.  Fun Fun.  I have one kid on chemo and steroids and Chantel appears to be teething.  She had a fever this morning of 99.3 and was really cranky as well. 

Yesterday, Sharmi also had an x-ray done on her knee.  Her pain seems to be increasing and she seems to identify her knee as the primary source.  At night her breathing also indicates her pain.  She gasps for air, holds her breath and then grunts the breath out.  Her Tylenol and Codeine cocktail seem to comfort her, but we would still like to know what is going on.  The x-rays didn’t show anything.  We will keep watching it and if it doesn’t get better they will do an MRI.

Good news!  Dean’s boss’s boss’s, boss approved for us to take the kids on the trip.  Now we have to hurry and work out the logistics and get passports, but we are very excited to be going.  This is against policy so I believe it is a miracle, and it also shows that he works for a good company with good people.  Sharmi can hardly wait.  This morning she woke up worried and said, “Daddy, I don’t have a swim suit to swim in the ocean.”  She is also very excited about getting on a plane and seeing “Guyah” (her nanny from California.

Thanks for your prayers. 

Cheris

Hello from rainy Washington,

Melissa and I were so excited this morning to see the sun.  However, we were quickly reminded  that “we aren’t in California anymore” when the rain clouds moved in and drowned our earth again.  We enjoyed the brightness while we had it.

Sharmi is struggling with pain on a sporadic basis.  For about three weeks she will randomly ask for pain meds, frequently in the middle of the night.  Last week she twisted her leg at gymnastics.  It worried me because she didn’t complain and she wouldn’t talk about it.  However, it took her about 15 seconds to get up, and when she finally did she stubbled and had a heavy limp.  I asked if she was OK and what she hurt, but she wouldn’t look at me and she walked toward the trampoline and said “lets jumpp.”  I think she was scared too, so she wanted to ignore it.  Luckily she seemed fine.  This weekend though she complained of knee pain when I was putting her to bed.  It is the same knee where her cancer manifested.  I am hoping that it is just like an “old injury” that gets tired and sore.  I am trying to trust and not worry about it. 

I have another issue that I would like prayers for.  Dean has won a trip with his company due to the success of his branch this year.  It would be a lovely and much needed break, but we don’t know what to do with the kids.  Kids are not allowed on the trip, but we have asked them to make an exception if we take a nanny and don’t have the kids at any of the company events.  I don’t see how we can leave Sharmi as emotionally fragile as she is (especially with her night terrors) and I am also still nursing Chantel.  Please pray that they will make an exception for us, and if not, that we will make the right decision for the family.  Dean really deserves this trip and I haven’t been able to go on the past company trips that he has been awarded (I was 9 months pregnant and then Sharmi was too young).  Wait a minute; after 2 kids, a flood, a house rebuild, cancer and a move I DESERVE this trip.   

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. 

Cheris

Hello,

I hope all of you had a good weekend.  Things are fairly normal here, which means up and down with no real trauma.  We have focused a lot on sleep lately.  Last week I put Sharmi on an acia berry blend drink.  I was religious at giving it to her along with her vitamins and grape fruit seed extract to fight off a cold.  By the end of the week she was feeling pretty good.  She was happy and obedient, but I could NOT get her to sleep.  We would lay there by the hours in a power struggle just trying to get her to hold still.  I finally decided to pull her off of everything and gradual start them up again one at a time.  About two days after she was off of them, I got the cranky, tired, disobedient girl back, but she did have a couple of good nights of sleep.    It seems like it is always a trade off. 

We have also made changes in the sleeping arrangements this week.  My mom gave us an inflatable mattress to put beside the bed so that we can all hopefully sleep better and Dean and I can get our bed back.  Sharmi is very excited about her new bed and her uncle Chris’s old Mickey Mouse sheets.  She has slept in her bed three nights so far with Dean or I needing to crawl in with her in the middle of the night.  Two nights ago Dean with sleeping with her and Chantel  was sleeping good, so I was all by myself in a king bed.  This has been a dream for months, and I thought I would have slept great.  However, I couldn’t sleep without Sharmi beside me.  I just realized yesterday that it has actually been 11 months since Sharmi was diagnosed with cancer (I lost track of time).  It doesn’t seem possible.  Eleven months ago I slept in the crib with her at the hospital and I have only spent a handful of nights without her by my side since.  It is bitter sweet that she is moving back into her ”own bed.”  (If you can call a mattress on the floor in our room her own bed.) But I am very proud of her. We have to focus on baby steps around here.   

She is such a kick.  She is a very strong willed little girl and the other day at grandma’s we were focusing on potty training.  She would get chocolate for her reward for going in the toilet.  During one of these times she was trying to gain control, as a two year old, and she shook her little finger at me and said, “You are not the boss, I am the boss.”  I simply held up the chocolate kiss with a smile on my face and said, “Who is the boss?”  Being the smart little two year old that she is, she quickly corrected herself and stated, ”You are the boss mommy. ”  We both laughed and she got her chocolate.  I am becoming a firm believer in manipulating my children with chocolate.

Well, the little ones are awaking.  I’ve got to run.

Cheris