Wow,  this has been an horendous week.  Sharmi had a doctors appointment on Monday and she did really well.  Her counts are in the 1800’s which is within target.  I haven’t traditionally talked to her about the procedures and the anesthesia because I haven’t been able to tell how she felt about it.  However, she asked me about when they were going to take the sticker off (last time we just did labs so they didn’t put the bandage over the port.)  It hurts her and she crys when they remove it.  I told her that she would have to have the bandage, but this time they would take it off while she was sleeping.  Several hours later when we went into the procedure room she told the nurse, “They are going to take off the sticker while I am sleeping so it won’t hurt.”  I also thought it was interesting that even before they gave her the anesthesia she laid her head back on my shoulder and said, “I’m getting sleepy.” We have never actually told her that they give her medicine to make her sleep.  Kids are amazing.

Monday night was the highlight of the week.  I laid down with Sharma when it was time for bed and we somehow started talking about heaven.  We talked about it for more that a half hour.  I couldn’t believe how many questions she had.  We talked about the fact that all of the animals will be nice, and that there will be no more sickness or medicine.  We had talked about those characteristics of heaven before, but then she kept asking questions. We talked about the mansions we would live in, our wings and how we would get to heaven.  She talked about doing puzzles with Jesus and she demonstrated how they would play ball together.  She was also worried about not coming back to this house, because she would miss bali and foxy, so we determined that they would get wings and fly to heaven also.  She was going to watch me swim with the dolphins.  We talked about Jesus coming in the sky and she looked out her window to the clouds.  She kept asking “what else will be in heaven mommy?”  I told her that she would have a grandpa and great grandpa’s and great grandma’s in heaven.  Then I thought it strange for a little girl, but she asked, will soilders come to try and keep up from getting to heaven.  We discussed this for quite some time.  She was sure that the soilders would come to our house to try to keep us from going to heaven.  I assured her that she would be safe.  She then said, “maybe my angel will come and pick me up and carry me to heaven to take me to Jesus.”  I was amazed at what thoughts went through her little head and I assured her that her angel would keep her safe.  The whole conversation just left me amazed.

The week took a down hill turn on Tuesday.  Sharmi had a low grade fever that morning and seemed especially tired and cranky.  That night she slept poorly and Dean was leaving at 5:00 for Portland that next morning.  In the middle of the night Sharmi woke up complaining of a sore throat.  The next day Sharmi had a full blown cold.  Wednesday and Thursday nights were probably the worst nights the girls have collectively had since Chantel was born.  I literally went from one child to the other all evening and all night long.  Sharmi was high on chemo and steroids with a cold on top. (The only thing worse than being sick is being so wired on steroids that you can’t sleep.)  Chantel has been battling tummy aches, her second tooth, and her sisters cold.  I think I have averaged about three hours of sleep that last two nights. 

I am amazed that I am still functioning at all.  Right now the only way I am getting a chance to write this is that I have the TV baby sitting Sharmi and I put Chantel in her swing so that she would talk a long nap.  Talk about lazy parenting, but I don’t have any strength to do it differently.

This weekend will continue to be busy.  We are going to have a baby dedication for Chantel and all of my family is coming.  I hope her cold is better so that she can enjoy the attention.  She is such a special little girl I hope she will be able to tell that the day is about her and that she is cherished by us.  She is so different from her sister at this age.  She is such a lover.  She wraps her arms around me and gives me the biggest hugs she can give.  Today I took a shower with her and she kept hugging then kissing me on the mouth and then hugging and kissing and hugging and kissing.  She is such a joy!

Well I need to go make food for tomorrow.  I hope you all have a happy Sabbath.

God Bless,

Cheris