Good Evening,

It is finally starting to feel like we can see the end.  Tomorrow is another procedure day when Sharmi gets chemo in her spine.  After tomorrow we only have two more to go, one in 12 weeks and one in 24 weeks.  I am starting to get excited.  I know that it is too long yet for Sharmi to understand, but I can hardly wait to tell her that she is almost done. 

Today she was talking to grandma on the phone and out of nowhere she said, “grandma my birthday is April 30 and before my party I am going to get the bump taken out of my chest.”  (I corrected her and told her it was after her birthday.) And she continued, “after my birthday they are going to take the bump, my port out.  I don’t know how but they are going to take it out… after my birthday it will be all gone.” 

I am sure she thinks about her cancer and treatment more than we realize.  For example,  I haven’t directly told her that we are going to the hospital tomorrow but she heard me set-up a time to leave in the morning with my friend Rene.  After I got off the phone Sharmi drilled me with questions.  She knows tomorrow is another hard day.  This evening she has been very difficult and tried desperately to keep us from leaving her at bed time.  She always feels the anticipation and the stress.  

I am depressed that I am going to be loosing my sweet calm little girl again.  She has been a different child since she has been off the steroids for 9 weeks.  She is still driven, energetic and strong willed but she has been more peaceful and less manic.  She has been a joy.  I am really looking forward to seeing who my little girl is apart from the drugs. 

One thing I know is that is even with the drugs she is still smart.    A couple of nights ago she was brushing her teeth and she pointed to the toothpaste and said, “Mom this says K-I-D-S, it spells kids.”  I was shocked.  Dean vaguely remembers talking about is with her several weeks ago.  She is also starting to spell signs.  At Petco yesterday she said to Dean, ” I know what the name of that store is, it is P-E-T-C-O.”  She is at a really fun learning stage.

Chantel is also in a learning spurt.  She slipped on her books Friday night and fell.  I asked her if she was OK and she said, “me fall dow”  I said I think she just said “me fall down.”  My dad and mom both said that they heard it too.  So it wasn’t just a mothers ears. 

I hope that you find many things to celebrate and be thankful for with your families this holiday season.

Cheris