Happy Sabbath,

What a day.  Sharmi is on her nasty weekly methotrexate today, which made a very difficult day.  She did OK until about 1:00 pm.  The oxycodone made her bearable this morning.  I was hoping that the hour and a half of just mommy time doing finger paints would help us get through the afternoon, but it didn’t seem to help.  She couldn’t fall asleep for her nap so after a miserable hour I let her come out of her room and the misery continued.  (She didn’t get a nap yesterday either, which added to it.)

However, this evening was priceless when I tucked her in.  I asked her if she had been good for daddy while she was getting ready for bed.  She told me that she wouldn’t take her chemo when he asked.  I reminded her that she only had to take it 5 more times.  I also told her that in one week we are going to have a party.  I asked if she knew what for.  She got the biggest smile on her face.  She wrapped her arms around my neck and rolled her whole body on top of mine and said, “I won’t have cancer anymore!”  Tears rushed to my eyes and fell down my cheeks.  She laughed and we hugged for while, and then she saw my tears and she asked,  “Mommy, what’s wrong.”  I responded, ”Nothing honey, mommy is just happy.”  She laughed and said, “You don’t look happy, you are crying.”

I was sure she was going to say, “I don’t have to take chemo anymore.”  I was shocked to hear her say  “cancer.”  This is only the second time I have ever heard her say the word “cancer.”  The only other time was a few weeks ago when I specifically asked her if she knew she had cancer, and asked why she didn’t talk about it.  Tonight, after she was FINALLY asleep Dean and I were talking and she had told him, “Daddy, I am going to get my port taken out because I don’t have cancer anymore.”  I am amazed at her little coping mechanisms.  She has never talked about cancer, and in the last couple weeks she has been talking more about her hair as well.  She talks about “my beautiful curls”, and “when I was a baby I didn’t didn’t have any hair becuase I had so much chemo.” 

Thank God she is feeling free to talk about it.  Now, it is time to celebrate.  I just hope I survive the celebrations.  Our Marysville church is doing a special children’s church next Sabbath in honor of Sharmi and we will be having a pot-luck at our house afterwards.  I am also working on food and rentals for the party in San Diego in June.  It will be a crazy 4weeks, but she deserves it. 

Happy Sabbath to you all.  Goodnight.

Cheris